Sunday, 20 March 2016


Hello again you lovely lot!
How is your year going? I can’t believe it’s almost Easter already! It seems the older you become, hours tick by like minutes. Things you did a week ago, seem like they were just yesterday. Months go by in what feels like a matter of weeks.  There’s just not enough time anymore.  I just wish I could pause it and stop for a second to catch my breath. However, you’ve got to keep up with it, appreciating as you go.

Anyway, I thought I’d check in with you all as it’s been a couple of months since my last post and I’ve had some things on my mind. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about comparison. I think it’s human nature to compare yourself to others, and in 2016 where you put your life online, it’s become that much easier to compare. Now I often hear people say that comparing yourself to what you see online is like comparing yourself to a highlights reel. That’s true. Not many people put their hardships online, and they don’t always show you everything they’ve put into getting their end product. Instead they put on their ‘best bits’ for people to see and commend. Of course it’s good to be happy for the success of others and to be proud of them for their achievements – but often you can’t help but compare yourself in a negative way. You worry that you’re not doing as well, or your life isn’t going the way it “should”. It’s so easy to forget that there is always more to the story, and the ‘behind the scenes’ shots may not be as glamorous.

Now in my experience at the present moment, I’m seeing couples move in together, get engaged, have children. I’m seeing people get their dream jobs. I’m seeing people travelling. I’m seeing them enjoying life. Yes – I’m comparing myself.  I’m thinking that I’m not doing this life thing correctly because everyone seems to have it together but me. However, when I think back to the times I felt more secure – I remember taking it for granted. I found other things to stress about, other parts of my life to negatively compare to others. It just seems to me that maybe, no matter how well your life goes perhaps you’ll always seek inadequacy. Perhaps you’ll never quite see how well you are doing in certain areas because in others you’re comparing yourself to people who are doing better.

Right now, I’m having a bit of a wobble. I’m comparing myself and I can feel that tug trying to pull me back to the place I was in last year. It is in this moment that I can do one of two things. I can let it consume me again, or I can keep going. I can look for my own highlights that I’m just not seeing because I’m blinded by the highlights of others in different areas of life. And I can stay focused on the behind the scenes work I need to put in in those areas I feel inadequate. Of course, I’m going to do the latter. Though I want to be quite transparent here – it’s not that easy. I spent all of yesterday laying down, crying my heart out and I’m sure I’ll have moments that I return to that. That’s okay. It’s always okay to let yourself feel sadness or any negative emotion you damn want. So long as you don’t let it consume you. Life is going to keep going, and it’s ticking by so fast. So feel the sadness, then take a breath, and keep working on creating your own highlights and appreciating the ones that are already there.

My 2016 Goals Update
Learn to Drive: I passed my theory test first time! I'm so grateful to have that out of the way and I'm so proud of myself for the hard work I put into that. I'm still having lessons and I have to say - I don't feel as confident here. I just don't seem to have a natural skill here and I'm finding it tough. I haven't killed anyone yet, or hurt the car in anyway - but my confidence isn't there. I'm hoping this comes with time and I'm going to continue to do my best.
Have 3 Memorable Moments: Nothing big to report on just yet. Though I am still keeping a note of all the little things that are making me smile this year. One of those being seeing my cousin's beautiful little baby again ^_^.
Read 20 Books: I really slowed down on this one. I'm struggling with the book I'm on at the minute and I've just not been making the time for books like I was at the beginning of the year. I think perhaps I'll begin a new book and try to make time at the end of the day for reading again. It really does help to calm my mind.
Find a Full Time Teaching Position: I've just finished at a school I was doing some long-term supply for and I feel like this experience will really help me in finding a full time position. I'm keeping an eye out for any posts for September - but nothing more to report here really.

Thanks for swinging by my blog, you adorable little sugar muffin. 
I hope some of my ramblings have made a little sense, and I'd love to hear your thoughts on the subject of comparison. 
Keep working hard, you're doing better than you realise,
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